I’ve adjusted to living in downtown. Everything is walking distance and within a good radius. I’ve been taking long late night walks to get things off my mind. It helps… for the moment.
"Limos (featuring Teyana Taylor)" - Vince Staples
I was a bit intoxicated and on Vicodin. Then I had the idea to skate downtown shirtless and just cruise around. What a night…
Even though your promises became empty, they still meant everything to me.
I was walking to class and this lady asks me for fifty cents because she doesn’t have enough to buy coffee. I only have my card and bills. She tells me she’s been up since the AM and it’s her last class. So why not, we walked to the store and I bought her coffee. I hope it helps you!
Some of the letters and cards I wrote to you.. It’s just old news now. Documents of the past. I wish my words still had an effect on you.
There’s a lot I want to say. Things that I’ve been dying to write about. Although what difference does it make and what does it matter now? Whether I capture these thoughts down on paper or by typing them out. It won’t change my current situation. You won’t read them, and I won’t feel any better just reminding myself in a world of words that was inspired by you. I haven’t been writing as much as I used to. I haven’t been myself lately either, but then I’ve realized. You cannot always climb back into your old self as if it were some costume. No, it doesn’t work that way. We are who we are; whether we like ourselves or not. And I wish I could remember what life was like without you. So I could move about my days like how I used to. I could eat properly, sleep without putting all these scenarios in my head, and drive without always wanting to hold your hand. I miss those days, and I’m not sure if you do too. But I would have done anything to just make us work; more importantly, to keep you happy. I would have driven a thousand miles and more just to see you if that were the case. But you are nowhere to be find. No GPS could ever tell me where things went wrong. And now, the only time I can find you… is on memory lane.