It’s three in the morning, and I’m just worn down; to the bone. I have priorities which need to be met and responsibilities to uphold, but there doesn’t seem to be enough time. Enough time to accomplish each task…there’s just so much weight on these shoulders and so much stress running through these veins. I need a break from it all. It might be about time I leave this city and the people in it. It’s overwhelming and I cant even focus on myself anymore. Cant even give myself the day of time to even breathe without hesitation. I should honestly disappear for good while. It doesn’t matter if things are still not solved. I just need time for myself and to get away from all the encompassing stress which continues to grow. Maybe one day…
On some nights…
I wake up long before the sunrise.
I can hear the wind chimes.
And I look up at the ceiling
with all these, I miss you feelings
I’m unstable like a house made of cards
because I don’t know what I’m dealing… with.
On some nights…
I just miss you way too much.
The best part is knowing that I’ll wake up to the same sweet girl who fell asleep in my arms. As the only thing that has changed is the distance between one another. And as our bodies are entangled, I dare not try to undo them. For they are intertwined and crossed better than the aligned stars. Nothing more beautiful can be produced in such a mess. With our bodies colliding, I’m headed straight towards you, and I do not bother to change directions; of my attention.
My boss can be such a b… It’s so hard to understand her since she speaks broken English. I have to try and follow her instructions by visually understanding the situation. Her temper fuse is so short and she’s ready to yell at you at anytime. I guess we all have our days right? It’s just work and I’m not here to build relationships with anyone. Just like the rest of the world I’m trying to make something work for myself so I can provide for myself. Working seven days a week and no days off; plus being called in and covering coworkers. It’s draining a lot out of me, but I just need a break from it all. I wonder how long I can keep this schedule up for. I’m sure I’ll be fine after a while. I’d rather be physically tied up than emotionally.
All the time… Although as for right now, I’m not yearning for another to indulge in all these great things. I have already met a fair share of people in my life so far (many more to come of course). Although I’m content with who I have and who I’m surrounded by. There’s always a time where we want the company of another; to share and create.
I still feel lonely on many nights although it’s something I can live with for now. I just want to focus on my priorities and let everything settle in after I’m stable.