You're worth it. Don't ever think anything otherwise.
My thoughts are over running everything right now. They’re defying all logic and common sense. It’s scary because this happens to a lot of us and depending on how we act on it.. We can seriously hurt ourselves or others. It’s overwhelming and I’m exhausted and I’m feeling everything on the spectrum of emotions. There are no words, just feelings. I should have known…
We create our own storms yet we get upset when it rains.. And these natural occurrences happen. More often than I can handle at any one time. I’m just a wreck walking the thin line of trying to be okay and going insane.
I want out..
I just wish my life ended tonight so I wouldn’t have to feel anything more. It’s too much sometimes and I can’t take it. Words and giving something time doesn’t always do the trick. It just keeps you distracted from what you’re really feeling. And I can’t ignore that I feel this way. In more ways than one and it’s been this way for years. I just wanna leave the face of the Earth rather than to see yours.. Please never wake up again..
My new barber be on point.
I can never be with a woman if she ever turns down my family or refuses to meet or hang out with them. Period. I don’t care if it’s personal reasons or not. It’s a fucking privilege to even come close to my family yet even get a chance to meet my mother. The woman who means everything to me and has blessed me into this world. You can walk straight out the fucking door for all I care. It’s rare for me to even invite a close friend with that opportunity, and you only get one. And you blew it.
I know words and actions cannot be undone. But why should they? When at one point, even for a split second, it was how we felt at that exact moment. It doesn’t mean the words or things we’ve done are true. Because most of the time it’s out of anger or sorrow or guilt and even happiness. I know we’re still accountable for our own actions, but we shouldn’t be keeping tally marks for all the wrongs and rights. Bottom line is, if someone is worth it, then they’re worth it.
A great man is one who leaves others at a loss after he is gone.
It’s been a while since I’ve worn beanies.
Even sailors drown.
You’re the same one who keeps me afloat and also the one responsible for throwing me in the water. Why have I still been holding on.. for so long? When I know you can let go anytime you want. Yet I’m latched on like a hook. But now I’m sinking like an anchor, nauticals at a time. I’m headed towards rock bottom and there is no light once you hit the floor. Life still exists, but it’s very minimal. And it’s cold. And there’s so much pressure pressing down on you. Never knowing if you’ll ever breach back to the surface again. You might ask yourself what kinds of creatures live this life of darkness. But believe me, there’s plenty of us around. I’m sick and tired of having you fill my lungs with water for every time you lash out on me or strike me down with your words; I’m just as flawed as you are. We’re not different. I used to sail the seas with a smile on my face for numerous reasons. I would be lucky enough if someone found me like how you did. But I don’t want the hand or attention of another. I only crave and yearn for your warmth and your exact and unique touch. The sailors back then and of today are no different. Still using their gut feelings as compasses and praying and using the stars as navigation. But now we’re on two different boats heading in opposite directions. Still hoping one day I’d find my way back to you, once more, and once again. Because once I found you I never needed to travel anywhere else. I had my whole world and life next to me right by my side. And it’s a shame, a tragedy, to know that we look up at the same stars but see such different things.
I gave you things I wasn’t sure I even had. I did things for you that I didn’t know were possible. And just like a magician, I made miracles out of nothing. I too, was surprised, of how well things turned out. Even I was deceived about my perspective of you. You had me fooled. Wishing that you were apart of this whole show; apart of all my acts. Yet you were just another face in the crowd who was watching. In hopes of one day that you would realize it isn’t about the fancy tricks, deceiving others, or putting up a facade. But about believing things we cannot explain, and understanding they too can be Real…